Listening in Silence

Life can be down-right chaotic. I, for one, feel like my head is constantly buzzing with thoughts. It can be super over-whelming...  At times like these, it's important to quite the world around you. Shut it all out, and take a moment to clear your head.

Imagine being in a small room with 10 songs playing at the same time. All that music turns into unpleasant noise. It's a sensory overload! It's maddening! When you turn off each song, one by one, leaving yourself with a single song, you can finally begin to enjoy the music.

Similarly, if you have a million things on your mind, if you're endlessly worrying about things, take a moment to turn off those thoughts and clear your mind. Do not focus on your problems. Focus on that one song that's still playing because that's YOUR song.

Take a moment every now and then to shut out all the distractions and embrace solitude. Lay on your bed and look at the ceiling, take a walk through the park, gaze up at the stars, or sit cross legged on the floor in meditation pose. Silence all your thoughts and simply feel.

Hone in on that spark that's inside of you. Do not surrender to all the negative things happening around you. Trust that you are stronger than you know. Make simple changes to improve your happiness. Gradually, as you continue to empower yourself, the chaotic thoughts will subside and you will be left with true bliss.

After all, you are not the problem, you are the solution, so play on.

Beauty Strange

Writing is so therapeutic for the soul. I have always enjoyed writing poetry as an emotional release. When I was younger, my parents went through a very unpleasant divorce, and almost every night I would lay on the floor and write poems in my little leather bound journal. Lately, I have been overwhelmed with feelings regarding a break-up that happened not too long ago, so I decided to do as I did when I was a kid and pour out my feeling on page. In poetry, I love how words and phrases caring powerful sentiments in their own right. Fragmentations, therefore, give the poem more impact line by line. I deliberately wrote each stanza with that in mind, so slow down and take the time to indulge each line. This poem is both deeply personal and confessional, and I hope you enjoy it.

Headed north
up a country backroad,

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you cry.

Unsure

of where I am

about to go,

But mindful

that I am

all alone,

I feel

an impulse

to onward drive.

The sun peaks

over

the horizon.

The dancing rays

remind

me of you,

When

you and I

had newly begun,

How light

would shimmer

upon your skin.

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you blue.

Time

together and apart

both hurt.

Staying and leaving

hurt

all the same.

Yet

my heart still

pines

for your return.

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you learn

That love’s a

paradoxical

game.

Overcome

with grief

in losing you,

I ask, why

we can

no longer be?

We made mistakes—

as lovers do—

But we never

should have

said adieu.

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you

see.

 

Making Mistakes

Growing up is hard to do. As we get older and begin to look back on our lives we realize how much of adulthood is nothing like it was in high school or college. It is harder to meet people, make friends, make a living, and keep your sanity, for that matter... I see many of my friends getting engaged and married, starting their careers, and some even starting families! I can't help but feel a little behind since I'm still trying to figure my life out.

When I was in middle school, I had it all planned out. I was going to finish college, start working, get married soon after, and have a couple of kids before I turned 30. Now, that seems like an utterly ridiculous time frame... Things may not have gone exactly to plan--I've changed my career path, I have had a number of rocky relationships, and it is definitely hard-times financially--but I still think I can manage a really awesome and even better future than the one I dreamed of in middle school.

I have found that the biggest part of growing up is making mistakes. It's that feeling of, "I MUST be an adult because I have gotten myself into a big mess and now I need to get myself out of it!" There is no one there to hold my hand anymore. It's all on me. I realize now that life is challenging us all with obstacle after obstacle. Struggling is expected. We all make mistakes, and, yes, sometimes we even fail, but no matter how bad things seem to get, it is important to remember that we can persevere.

We must never stop trying. It is very rare that we get things right the first time we try, but it's also important to not repeat your mistakes. If you are committing the same mistake over and over again then you are doing something wrong. Best to revise your attitude, reevaluate your strategy, and follow your heart. Each mistake we do not repeat makes us stronger, and that is an essential part of growing up.

Being a grown-up is tough, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun! Through the stressful times of being busy at work, doing a massive load of laundry, or paying bills, I just remind myself to be proud of how far I have come, all that I have accomplished, and all the wonderful experiences yet to be had. I'm living la pura vida :)

Tick-Tock Goes the Clock

Time is tricky. It's constantly ticking away steadily as we go about our lives. I hear people older than me say, "Man, times have changed." But has it? Is time the one who has changed, or is it us? That's why it's so tricky; time is what you make it.

Lately, I have been thinking of all the places and people that have come and gone in my life. Every now and then, a blast from the past makes you want to throw life in reverse and go back to a moment  when you felt unconditionally happy. I guess that is the phenomenon of nostalgia--holding on to something that has inevitably slipped away... but that moment is not lost. It is a part of you.

Instead of looking at time as something you can never get back, try looking at time as a symbol of strength. After all, time is un-faltered and eternal. It is a gift. Time grants us so many precious moments, blessed opportunities, and beautiful people that it truly is a waste to not make the most of it.

It's that whole concept of carpe diem--seize the day. As my dear friend Jackie says, "don't sweat the small stuff. Life is too short." She's absolutely right. Think of how much time we waste stressing over trivial things. Some people even hold grudges for years and years forgetting what they were even upset over in the first place! It's ludicrous. It is disastrous to get caught up in the melodramas and hardships of everyday because although time is eternal, we are not.

Don't be tripped up by the trendy you-only-live-once/yolo fad . I am taking an anti-yolo stance on this when I say that you do NOT only live once. You live EVERYDAY. You only die once. Well, that is, unless you are revitalized some how or are a zombie, etc. Point is, live it up, and remember. Don't dwell on the time past, but the time ahead.

Normal Is an Illusion

Normalcy. It's a concept I've struggled with my whole life. I remember many a time mulling over the question "why can't I just be normal?" There has even been a time or two when people have right out questioned my normalcy to my face! But you know what? Normal is an illusion. What's normal for one person is not going to be normal for everybody.

How can it? We all don't have the same interests. We all don't come from the same upbringing. We all don't have the same beliefs. We are all distinct individuals. Trying to apply a term like normal to personality is downright futile. In this world where there is constant change, growth, and maturation, how can the concept of normal NOT fluctuate?

Normal truly is an illusion. It's a word that relates directly to the subject of wanting to fit in. Nobody wants to be the odd man out or the fish out of water, but it is when our differences come together to form friendships and cooperation that we see greatness.

In our daily interactions with one another, be open-minded. As long as our differences don't cause harm to others, then what does it matter? I will let you be you, if you let me be me. Look past the illusion of normalcy. in fact, you might be pleasantly surprised.

Flaws and All

Many of us, perhaps I should be daring enough to say that ALL of us, struggle with the feeling of being undesirable. It's an ugly, ugly feeling and is always compounded with the feeling of loneliness, rejection, defeat, or failure. Such thoughts and emotions are incredibly destructive, and require a great deal of effort to overcome.

Feeling undesirable goes hand-in-hand with picking at your flaws--both physical and nonphysical.  Recently, I saw a Dove campaign called Real Beauty Sketches that astounded me. It took a group of women and through portrait sketching conveyed a powerful message about the way we view ourselves and the way others view us. It quite literally illustrates the importance of being grateful for the beauty we do have over that which we do not. (See the campaign here for yourself http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk)

I'm sure if I were to ask you to tell me about your flaws and the list of things you wish you could change, you'd be able to think of a few things right off the top of your head. What if I were to ask you, what are some things that you love about yourself? ...Which question is easier to answer?

What's even odder is that those flaws, those imperfections and undesirables are magnified in our own heads. We become self-conscious over tiny details that really do not matter. Our imperfections do not devalue us as people.  In fact, it frequently is quite the opposite. Often times, the quality we despise most in ourselves is the quality that is most beautiful to others. You may hate your laugh, your scars or stretch marks, or perhaps your nose, but, to somebody else, they are beautiful... because you are beautiful.

I am certain--and I say this with full confidence--that your friends, family, lover, coworkers can all think of endless things that they love about you. They don't ever want you to feel undesirable. That's crazy talk! Nobody is without flaws, so do not allow yourself to think that you are undesirable. You are beautiful flaws and all.

Embrace your beauty, revel in your imperfections, and stay pura vida.

Pura Vida

Keeping a positive mindset is very important when working towards your dreams. Even the most optimistic of people have their rock-bottom moments, but my suggestion to anyone is to make positivity a lifestyle. It's something I strive for everyday and is the key to bringing good happenings into your life.

For me, when things get really bad, I like to remind myself of a saying I picked up in Costa Rica--pura vida. However, it's more than just a saying. It's an attitude and a lifestyle. Perhaps I should first explain that traveling throughout Costa Rica has been one of the most spiritually enriching and eye-opening experiences of my life. If you ever have the opportunity to go, DO IT. It is astounding to me that this tiny country has such endless beauty. Costa Rica truly transcends all natural beauty--rich forestry, breath-taking beaches, and mountainous landscapes--and evokes a beauty so precious that you need to go right to the heart of its people to discover it. It is an appreciation for the beauty of life itself--pure life or pura vida. In fact, often times when you ask a Costa Rican how they are doing they will answer you with the phrase pura vida which at first may seem odd or chucklesome, but soon becomes irresistible and adopts a positive attitude all on its very own.

Pura vida is much more than a greeting or a form of gratitude. It is a phase that surpasses boundaries and interweaves the richness that is the human spirit at its brightest and purist of forms. It's an appreciation for the everyday blessing of life. It's embracing the most important aspects of life--family, friends, community, generosity, humility, and love. It is finding the beauty and simple joys in life and remembering how important it is to not only to acknowledge it, but to devote our time and heart to what matters most--each other. 

It's essential to always love life. Even in its imperfections, it is beautiful. We all stumble and falter, but we pick each other back up and learn from our mishaps how to love and become better people. Stay positive, stay pura vida, and live each day with a grateful heart. 

A special thank you to my friends Tia and Omar for the inspiration.