Beauty Strange

Writing is so therapeutic for the soul. I have always enjoyed writing poetry as an emotional release. When I was younger, my parents went through a very unpleasant divorce, and almost every night I would lay on the floor and write poems in my little leather bound journal. Lately, I have been overwhelmed with feelings regarding a break-up that happened not too long ago, so I decided to do as I did when I was a kid and pour out my feeling on page. In poetry, I love how words and phrases caring powerful sentiments in their own right. Fragmentations, therefore, give the poem more impact line by line. I deliberately wrote each stanza with that in mind, so slow down and take the time to indulge each line. This poem is both deeply personal and confessional, and I hope you enjoy it.

Headed north
up a country backroad,

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you cry.

Unsure

of where I am

about to go,

But mindful

that I am

all alone,

I feel

an impulse

to onward drive.

The sun peaks

over

the horizon.

The dancing rays

remind

me of you,

When

you and I

had newly begun,

How light

would shimmer

upon your skin.

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you blue.

Time

together and apart

both hurt.

Staying and leaving

hurt

all the same.

Yet

my heart still

pines

for your return.

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you learn

That love’s a

paradoxical

game.

Overcome

with grief

in losing you,

I ask, why

we can

no longer be?

We made mistakes—

as lovers do—

But we never

should have

said adieu.

It’s strange how

beauty can

make you

see.

 

Making Mistakes

Growing up is hard to do. As we get older and begin to look back on our lives we realize how much of adulthood is nothing like it was in high school or college. It is harder to meet people, make friends, make a living, and keep your sanity, for that matter... I see many of my friends getting engaged and married, starting their careers, and some even starting families! I can't help but feel a little behind since I'm still trying to figure my life out.

When I was in middle school, I had it all planned out. I was going to finish college, start working, get married soon after, and have a couple of kids before I turned 30. Now, that seems like an utterly ridiculous time frame... Things may not have gone exactly to plan--I've changed my career path, I have had a number of rocky relationships, and it is definitely hard-times financially--but I still think I can manage a really awesome and even better future than the one I dreamed of in middle school.

I have found that the biggest part of growing up is making mistakes. It's that feeling of, "I MUST be an adult because I have gotten myself into a big mess and now I need to get myself out of it!" There is no one there to hold my hand anymore. It's all on me. I realize now that life is challenging us all with obstacle after obstacle. Struggling is expected. We all make mistakes, and, yes, sometimes we even fail, but no matter how bad things seem to get, it is important to remember that we can persevere.

We must never stop trying. It is very rare that we get things right the first time we try, but it's also important to not repeat your mistakes. If you are committing the same mistake over and over again then you are doing something wrong. Best to revise your attitude, reevaluate your strategy, and follow your heart. Each mistake we do not repeat makes us stronger, and that is an essential part of growing up.

Being a grown-up is tough, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun! Through the stressful times of being busy at work, doing a massive load of laundry, or paying bills, I just remind myself to be proud of how far I have come, all that I have accomplished, and all the wonderful experiences yet to be had. I'm living la pura vida :)

Tick-Tock Goes the Clock

Time is tricky. It's constantly ticking away steadily as we go about our lives. I hear people older than me say, "Man, times have changed." But has it? Is time the one who has changed, or is it us? That's why it's so tricky; time is what you make it.

Lately, I have been thinking of all the places and people that have come and gone in my life. Every now and then, a blast from the past makes you want to throw life in reverse and go back to a moment  when you felt unconditionally happy. I guess that is the phenomenon of nostalgia--holding on to something that has inevitably slipped away... but that moment is not lost. It is a part of you.

Instead of looking at time as something you can never get back, try looking at time as a symbol of strength. After all, time is un-faltered and eternal. It is a gift. Time grants us so many precious moments, blessed opportunities, and beautiful people that it truly is a waste to not make the most of it.

It's that whole concept of carpe diem--seize the day. As my dear friend Jackie says, "don't sweat the small stuff. Life is too short." She's absolutely right. Think of how much time we waste stressing over trivial things. Some people even hold grudges for years and years forgetting what they were even upset over in the first place! It's ludicrous. It is disastrous to get caught up in the melodramas and hardships of everyday because although time is eternal, we are not.

Don't be tripped up by the trendy you-only-live-once/yolo fad . I am taking an anti-yolo stance on this when I say that you do NOT only live once. You live EVERYDAY. You only die once. Well, that is, unless you are revitalized some how or are a zombie, etc. Point is, live it up, and remember. Don't dwell on the time past, but the time ahead.